magic

I will teach you how to count to ten with one hand without resetting. Magic. It will double your ability to count. Count to twenty without resetting when you use both hands. You might want to put on a helmet...so it don't make a mess when I blowyamiiiiind.

But later....don't feel like it now.

the past week in a nutshell

Got an emergency haircut on Sunday. I had a dream that I didn't complain that she cut it too short. It came true. Best haircut ever. Taught the bartender at the middle east about scotch and green tea. He made a tasty mix.

Left for Hong Kong on Monday. Spent 15 hours on a United 747 with no TV and bitter bitchy flight attendants as old as the plane. The most rude and condescending group of people you can find. Don't fly United. I saw a flight attendant refuse to give a woman a band aid because she didn't want to bother filling out a report for opening the first aid kit. The only nice one on the plane snuck her one. She also snuck me some booze. Still, don't fly United.

Drank a lot on said plane. Scotch is about the only thing to get by on in such situations.

Spent a night at the Venetian Macau. Woke up at 2:30 (just like today), went down to the casino a few hours later and won 300HKD at a slot machine. I'm rich. A few hours of touring and meetings before we had to get on another United flight to Singapore. More scotch please. Don't fly United.

We stayed at a resort spa in Sentosa Island. It was very relaxing. In the morning I woke up to peacocks calling. At breakfast we watched a monkey steal a woman's chocolate croissant.

Two days of meetings, with no yelling or blaming (wow!) and almost no chinese food (awesome!). Our midnight flight out on Friday night was delayed. Went to a lounge that had individual jacuzzis. I was in there for an hour, right up to boarding time. The lounge was near the Emirates gate. It was one machine gun carrying guard for every five white robed passenger. They have no seats there, they lay out picnic blankets.

Qantas has the best in flight entertainment ever. On demand, movies, cd's, tv... I watched the Darjeeling Limited, Superbad, Interview, and a documentary about a movie called Emmanuel, and for that hour and a half my screen was pretty much filled with nudity. Cheeky Australians. Cathay Pacific eat your heart out. The food was good too. Marc Newson designed the cutlery and everything. Nice.

A couple hours in London, stretching out at another lounge. Drank tea. Looked at planes. Mocked United.

A short hop from London to Boston on BA. Got here around 1pm. A total of 50-something hours of travel. I fell asleep at 6 and woke up at 230 this morning. It's cold here. My apt has no room service.

flying over stuff is cool

I got to fly over the north pole last weekend. Straight up through canada and we made a quick left. It was pretty amazing, at one point a few hours into the (16.5 hour) flight, there was the north star next to me, the sun coming up in front and the moon shining over my shoulder. All magestic.

We flew over Siberia which is exactly what you'd imagine it to be - nothing alive over there, mountains of white deadness. And then there was a few hours over dark muddy pollution, AKA China. A low dark cloud going out in all directions.

oh holy crap

I'm going to singapore for two weeks...leaving TOMORROW...I just frantically got tickets and a hotel room, running in circles, whopee. Right when I pysched myself up for not going till next week it came through. Had to stare at my screen waiting for itineraries to be emailed...then left work and ran to pick up laundry because I have no clean socks or underwear....Noodles and durian here I come.

three's company

I had a dream this week that I was making out with a girl with three boobs....three little boobies, the extra one directly underneath the left one....She was pretty embarrassed but I just took it for what it is...yup, that's definitely a third boob...

You might want to put on a helmet............

There's even politics in politics.....

I realize more, now that I have to delegate work and watch what other people say, just how full of politics architecture can be. Between the blame game, bureaucratic protocols, and secret keeping alone its a full time job. Not to mention that whole design thing - which is the ice cream to the slop bucket lunch of everything else.

origins

SOME people seem to think I need to explain where the name comes from.....well there were these two homeless guys sitting by a dumpster. One was talking about how he was going to take Homeless Airlines back home to Alaska. The other guy sat there listening then suddenly blurted out.....I'M THE PRESIDENT OF JELLY BEANS!!... and shook his head like a crazy person when he said it.

And now I'm the mayor of jelly beans. Which means I work for a homeless man.

Strange how these things happen.

myths and truths

Myth - tennis balls have any effect whatsoever when thrown in with your wet clothes in the dryer

Truth - throwing a party is the easiest way to stock up your liquor cabinet

doctors don't know much

You'd think that after 10 years of schooling and practice that doctors would be able to diagnose a problem. You'd be wrong. I was recently sick and after a handful of tests, x-rays, cat scans all they could tell me was what I didn't have. I guess its good to know I don't have syphilis but I hoped to figure out what the problem really was. Doctors can only figure out what is wrong when they guess what it is and search for proof to back it up.

My guess - anxiety and toxic fumes.

oh this thing exists!

I completely forgot that I started this blog....I woke up today and decided on the fly to take the holiday off. It was a nice break. I printed some photos from Hong Kong. My two favorites are the sleeping guy in the street suit stand..who buys suits on a street stand? right next to durian and random chotchsky....weird

H O T

Hot...Can't sleep....thinking about going to the passport agency tomorrow hoping nothing goes wrong. I need a personal assistant or something

tomayto tomahto

I bought a big ass tomato plant and strapped it down to the fire escape. I never realized how nice a tomato plant smells. Me likey. I'm all green thumbed and what not.

ok

Now what?
How about F that s in the B mother F H er. Or something.